Malaysians define what it means to be a gentleman

The textbook definition of a gentleman would describe King Charles III as the epitome of it as he ticks off all the requirements to be labelled as one; a man of a noble and gentle nature. And historically, a gentleman is referred to “men of wealth and title who didn’t have to work for a living” which perfectly describes King Charles.

But times have changed, and so does the definition of a gentleman.

From our little research on the internet, it shows that Jungkook from BTS is what we call a gentleman today.

We decided to ask one of our staff to share her definition of a gentleman, and her response was rather… interesting:

A gentleman is someone who is aware of their internal and external realities, and actively take steps to help those around them. Being a gentleman is more than one specific act as it’s something that develops and improves over time. – Nabihah, Cilisos Head of Business. 

Intrigued by the answer, we turned the casual conversation into a mini survey where we asked Malaysians these two questions:

• What is your definition of a gentleman
• Where did that idea come from

And here’s what we gathered…

There are several traits to describe a gentleman

Meet Jake, our writer who enjoys laughing at odd jokes. Growing up, Jake associated Daniel Craig from the 007 series with the word gentleman because of the way he presented himself with his restrained gravitas, classic manly features, and not to forget, the whole tuxedo shit. But his perception of a gentleman now has shifted to how respectful a person is:

Nowadays I think it’s really just showing respect to women as you would to any other human being. – Jake, writer at Cilisos.

While Jake thinks that being respectful is an important trait in a gentleman, Hazel, our video editor, has a different opinion on the whole thing.

A gentleman has to be kind and helpful, just like how it is portrayed in movies. Hazel admitted that her standards are influenced by the media. To her, a gentleman is someone who:

“… gets down and ties your shoe lace for you. ” – Hazel, from Cilisos video team.

As simple that may sound, small gestures like these can genuinely make someone feel touched.

Well, just like Hazel, the idea of what a gentleman is was instilled into our Ciliboss’s big brain by the Archie Comics (very unoriginal, we know).

To our big boss, being helpful is an important trait for any gentleman, and it’s all the little things that count. Instances include when the person opens doors for everyone (especially car doors for a female companion), and when they thank waiters and waitresses in restaurants.

Moving on to our next interviewee…

Adrian is a teacher from Perak who believes that a gentleman is someone who has a kind and gentle nature. That idea was instilled in him from watching his favourite movies – one of which is About Time where the main character, Tim, acts gentlemanly to those he cares about despite them annoying him all the time.

Well, speaking of romance movies, Adrian is not the only one who is influenced by them.

We know there’s a lot of words in the screenshot above, but long story short, one of our interviewees, Safitri, is a HUGE fan of the romance genre. She loves reading novels that portray everything related to love and sappiness. One thing in particular that stood out to us when we asked her what the word “gentleman” meant to her was:

“Someone who wouldn’t make you think twice when it comes to your safety.” – Safitri, romance lover. 

Well, feeling secure around someone indicates a good sign and it is a feeling that can only be felt around a true gentleman.

Kyle, our other writer, is just like the majority of humankind who look up to Henry Cavill, Tom Hardy, Paul Rudd, Chris Evans, Tom Hiddleston, Georges St-Pierre as examples of a gentleman. But he did emphasise on one thing: 

A good-mannered man is someone who makes the safety and comfort of others a responsibility. – Kyle, writer at Cilisos. 

Well, keep your standards high ladies (and gentlemen)

To round off this article, it seems like that the definition of a gentleman today has gone beyond a person’s appearance and social status. Now that you’ve heard from our interviewees, this writer personally thinks Tom Holland is the perfect gentleman. He’s handsome, funny, suave, caring, and most importantly, pays attention to all the tiny details, like how he literally took a plane to Rome just to see his girlfriend, Zendaya.

SURPRISE DATE NIGHT? YOU’RE TELLING ME TOM FLEW TO ROME TO SURPRISE ZENDAYA? pic.twitter.com/5f4WYp9dmL

— lieke (taylor’s version) (@evermoredaya) February 23, 2022

So, the next time you want to go on a date with someone who’s attractive and charming, you may want to ask yourself: Are they considerate of others and emotionally mature? If the answer is no, you know what to do next because looks ain’t everything my friend.

Then again, we know that not all ladies out there are keen on having men do things for them as these kind of things are subjective.

But let us know in the comment section, will you actually fall for these gentlemanly acts?