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21 Malaysian commenters on Facebook – which one are you?

Sometimes they’re funny and bold, other times they’re just plain annoying. Streaming all across local Facebook pages from day to night, these comments remind us of why the internet is a magical place.

1. The one who always hates on NajibThe-one-who-is-always-against-Najib-12345

There isn’t a day on our Facebook news feed where Najib gets to catch a break. Whether it’s good news, bad news, or just plain news, expect spiteful insults to pour in within seconds. These usually come with awful grammar, animalistic references, sarcastic connotations or a string of vulgarities.

2. … and the one who loves himThe one who loves najib1

While Najib gets darted by ‘em meanies, he wouldn’t be PM without his fans. These range from words of appreciation to pledges of support, and sometimes even brown-nosy, kiss-uppy remarks (see image).

3. The one who always blames the organization, never themselvesThe one who always blames the organization1

So the recent water rationing thingamajig has ruffled up some feathers, leaving angry citizens to blame service providers for their inefficiency. This is just one of the many, many situations organizations have found themselves in, where paying consumers are always right and never wrong…. Even if they could very well be brushing their teeth with the water running!

 

4. The ones who file complaints on service providersThe one who always hates on service providers1

Unhappy with a service or suspect you’ve been cheated of your money? Sent an email but ain’t getting no response? Facebook is the next best thing as unproven by the swarm of upset customers who comment on posts, demanding updates, refunds and even warning potential customers with their horrific experiences. For added effect, they post multiple comments. Gotta love an angry mob.

5. The one who sings the song of heroes and sympathyThe one with heartfelt tributes1

What’s a lot heartfelt than an ‘RIP’ comment is someone taking the time to reflect on the deceased and the good he has done. Warm and sincere, these often boost our faith in cyberspace humanity.

6. The one with valid questions The one with valid questions2

Once in a blue moon, we get legit questions from commenters who are genuinely curious about the topic in discussion. What makes them even better is the string of participating commenters who share their knowledge and concerns, showcasing a real neat case of ‘mature adults in mature conversations’. Two thumbs up for these productive folks!

7. The one who loves to publicly shame…The shaming bandwagoner1

Because who doesn’t like to look smarter than organizations? There’s so much fun in being right and making fun of someone else’s wrong, especially when you’re in a bandwagon of equal-minded geniuses.

8. … and the public shamer who needs to be shamed

The public shamer who needs to be schooled1

Passionate Facebook users tend to jump the gun, shaming others before realising they’ve missed the point. What do we say to these people? Check yo’self before you wreck yo’self!

9. The one who only says ‘PM’The one who always asks for PM1

Private Message? Private Massage? Poodle Market? Way too often, we see commenters leaving almost nothing but a mere ‘PM’. We’re not entirely sure how it works, but we’re guessing that they’re expecting the poor Facebook administrator to reach out to them. Each 395,702 one of them. (P/S: Hey guys, how about saying “please” and “thank you”?)

10. The one who always asks for the price… even if it’s already stated thereThe one who wants to know the price1

Are captions absolutely unnecessary? I mean, do they go into stealth mode on the screens of assuming buyers? C’mon, people. READ THE CAPTION.

NAH, BACA:
China didn't invent CNY Yee Sang, this Seremban man did!

11. The one who won’t let a joke go

The one who wont let it go1

If we could add another universal truth to Jane Austen’s books, it would be the fact that the dumbest and most epic of all jokes become immortalised when it goes on the WWW. Whether it’s the KLIA bomoh’s antics or Najib’s kangkung remark, expect people to inject elements of these events no matter how passé they’ve become.

12. The defence attorneyThe defense attorney 2

Possibly the most high-valued commenter any celebrity or organisation is lucky to have, these special gems will do all it takes to defend their idol with their mighty keyboard powers.

13. The grammar NaziThe grammar nazi1

There’s nothing more humiliating than pointing out grammar mistakes made by esteemed names, especially when it’s out in the open. Point to note: it’s human error and these things happen, so be kind!

14. The grammar Nazi with grammar mistakesThe grammar nazi with grammar mistakes 3

Oy vey… We wonder how it feels like to be betrayed by your own clicketty fingers and high standards. Most often, these commenters feel the need to use more than one exclamation mark ‘cause wrong grammer are there number one pet peeve and it must be stop no matter the cost. (BTW, we believe it should be ‘one of the most stylish’.)

15. THE ONE WHO MUST TYPE IN CAPS LOCK

The one who always types in caps lock1

IT’S ALMOST LIKE WE’RE READING KANYE WEST’S TWEETS. For real, doe. It’s like you’re either shouting or being completely 1990’s robot-like… we simply can’t tell. (Props to Yahoo! Malaysia for that awesome comeback.)

16. The one who always goes off-topicThe one who goes off topic 21

It’s pretty fun to see how people go completely off-topic, almost ignoring the main idea of the original post. Sometimes it’s funny; other times we’re almost sure it would be plain rude.

17. The one who thinks that everything must be of his specific interest…The one who thinks all news must interest him1

Many news sites have been bombarded for featuring stories deemed ‘not newsy at all’. What people fail to realise are these key points: (1) news sites can only highlight a handful of stories on Facebook – it doesn’t mean that they have nothing else to report (2) readers who want more news can always go to the news’ website (3) just because it isn’t news to them, it doesn’t mean it’s not news to another person.

18. …. and the one who sounds him for being annoyingThe one who thinks all news must be of their interest... and the one who thinks they're dumb1

One word: thanks!

19. The one who only answers with imagesThe one who uses memes1

Sometimes they’re memes, sometimes they’re photo quotes. Other times, they’re just epic facial expressions. Either way, we love that these commenters take the time (and bandwidth) to upload a photo in place of text. Definitely one we’ll never miss in a sea of comments.

20. The opportunistic bugger

The opportunist1

These watchful coyotes are fast and sharp, making sure they take advantage of high-traffic postings by adding a copy-and-paste comment to promote their business. The biggest champions are those who post on their competitor’s page!

21. The conspiracy theorist

The conspiracy theorist 1

Of course, we saved the best for the last. The recent MH370 tragedy has shown the nation (and the world) just how creative any Tom, Dick and Harry can be. Non-certified aviation experts and detectives with Masters in TV Thriller & SciFi sprung like mushrooms, showing us just how heavily disoriented we’ve become. Take a chill pill, guys. Let the real experts talk!

11 Comments

  1. Lollipop

    30/04/2015 at 10:46 am

    i think you forgot “the one who always post product advertisement/links” or something like that…

    • Lydia

      30/04/2015 at 11:24 am

      closest we got was with #20

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  7. Felixia Yeap is Not Muslim

    23/05/2014 at 8:41 am

    Nice post by the way, looking for more post like this.

  8. Lydia Kwan You Suck

    03/05/2014 at 7:28 am

    My God, i’m not sure which is worse.
    Logging/Registering to this site or actually finish reading your article.
    I really thought it was going to be funny bit but …meh…
    Whats worse is that you actually spent time writing an article which isnt funny at all nor awkward. Just wasting gullible people time.

    Also cant help but see there is an attempt for propaganda here. Long live jib jib?

    And congrats, you manage to get a comment .

    • Lydia Kwan

      05/05/2014 at 4:54 pm

      Thanks!

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