6 horrible comments received by Malaysians with HIV

Okay guys, we’ve got a problem. December 1^st is World AIDS Day, and we’re very sad. Researching this article, we found some truly horrid things that people are saying to Malaysians with HIV. Here are some of the worst things our fellow Malaysians living with HIV have had to endure:

1. “You’re fired.”

Naza, who previously worked in advertising, told us he’d been fired after his HIV positive status came to light. The worst part? He didn’t actually tell his employers – he had confided in a co-worker whom he thought of as a close friend, and she spilled the beans to the bosses, who then told him he was “let go” because they were worried he might infect the other employees.

2. “You’re just a waste of time.”

“Once, I got really ill and had to go to a hospital to have a blood test done. The nurse was having some trouble drawing the blood from me, and actually hissed at me ‘Dah lah ada HIV, susah pulak urat, menyusahkan orang je’ and shot me a look of total hatred.” – Roziah, 48.

Nowadays, Roziah says, treatment of HIV patients in many clinics and hospitals is far better, and doctors and nurses far more sensitive. But there are still plenty of places where they face judgement and disdain, and we firmly believe that to discriminate the quality of medical treatment given based on assumptions about a person’s lifestyle is just plain wrong.

3. “Your lifestyle is disgusting.”

While it’s true that the most common ways of HIV transmission in Malaysia are through unprotected sex and shared needles, that doesn’t necessarily mean that every person you meet with HIV has a sketchy past or – horror of horrors! – is gay. Did you know that, when it comes to women at any rate, Ministry of Health data reveal that in 2010, more housewives tested HIV-positive than sex workers, with a ratio of 1 sex worker for every 13 housewives?

“I was infected by my husband. When I first found out about it, I was incredibly angry that he never even told me that he had HIV, and that he exposed not just myself but our future children to risk.” – Leanne, 29

(Note: In 2009, pre-marital HIV screening for all Muslims was declared mandatory by JAKIM; in other words, for Muslims to get married, both bride and groom have to take a HIV test beforehand. The results are released only to you; whether you choose to get married or not upon receipt of those results is up to you. We hear that non-Muslims are now being encouraged to do the test as well, although it isn’t compulsory for them. But there are also a slew of other problems related to the idea of mandatory testing, not least of which are concerns that these tests infringe on your right to privacy; you can read the arguments against mandatory testing here.)

4. “We can’t accept you at our school because other people might discriminate against you.”

“[A local university] refused to allow me to attend a course out of fear that I would be ‘discriminated against’ by other students,” says Naza, who had to present the results of a full health check-up to university administration upon receiving a scholarship there. “But how would other students know unless I told them myself, or the university told them?”

5. “You can’t use the same plates as us.”

“My mother-on-law sets aside separate plates and glasses for me to use [when we visit], and keeps them away from the rest of the dishes. They won’t even let me use the same baldi to wash myself.” – Laxmi, 27

6. “You are no longer part of this family.”

“I have 7 siblings. I have told two of my sisters, and they won’t let me tell the rest of my siblings because they say my brothers and their wives will never accept me, and I’ll never get to see my nieces or nephews again. I have friends who have told their parents and immediately been told never to come back to the house again. I have friends who have been screamed at for touching their own children because they’ll be ‘contaminated.’” – Alan, 34

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Wait, what’s the difference between HIV and AIDS?

Truth is, we didn’t know either, until we started researching this article. Sure, we’ve all been subjected to the same ad campaigns and posters warning us about the dangers of perbuatan songsang and how they lead to AIDS, but let’s be honest lah, how many of us paid full attention when all of this was being explained?

Anyone? Anyone?

We thought so. But don’t worry! We’re here to help.

Err, so can you explain the whole AIDS/HIV thing to me properly first? Please?

Can! Since we’re basically very nice people, here’s a handy-dandy cheat sheet for you:

Oookay. But not that many people in Malaysia have HIV right? This is totally a Western problem!

We do wish this were true – but unfortunately, it’s just not the case. Like Shakira’s hips, the statistics just don’t lie: In just 20 years, the number of new HIV cases in Malaysia increased by 883% (not a typo – 883 PERCENT). As of December 2011, there were over 90,000 living with HIV in Malaysia, with almost 18,000 of them reported as having AIDS; AIDS had caused the deaths of more than 13,000 Malaysians. And every day, 15 Malaysians are diagnosed with HIV.*

*Statistics from the Malaysian AIDS Council and PT Foundation

But…but…is that really true? How come I haven’t really heard about this?

Maybe you have. But that’s the problem isn’t it? Despite all the efforts to educate and inform people about HIV and AIDS, the truth is that most of us just… don’t pay attention. And because we don’t have all the facts, the other unfortunate truth is that we don’t know what to say when someone DOES tell us they have HIV, or we have some preconceived stigmas and ideas about them because of it. So we thought this would be a perfect opportunity to tell you what NOT to say.

The good news…

…is that there are more ways than ever for people living with HIV to lead normal, healthy lives for years and years after diagnosis, thanks to a slew of advances in medical research and technology. In fact, antiretroviral treatments can reduce the risk of transmission to a partner by 96%, which means that people who are given treatment at an early stage can still enjoy happy home lives and conceive HIV-free babies!

If you are someone living with HIV, please know that there are so many places you can reach out to for education and support in Malaysia, some of which we’ve listed below.

The Malaysian AIDS Council
The PT Foundation
Kuala Lumpur AIDS Support Society (KLASS)

And if you know someone living with HIV, do yourself a favour and put some knowledge in your head, some empathy in your heart, a smile on your face and some encouraging words on your tongue.

Trust us – the world will be a better place.