Can’t watch Thor? 6 hilariously-bad superhero movies to cheer you up (or more geram)

Everyone and their grandmjolnir are likely disappointed that the very-anticipated  Thor: Love and Thunder went from Love and Tunda to Bruce Kenabanner. Forced puns aside, no official reason was actually given, other than that the movie will not be shown.

Since many people are already disappointed or even outright geram at the news, we figured why not make things worse? Because bootleg versions of the movie are still potato quality (we…uh…heard from friends), let’s start with one Thor movie that you won’t ever see in the cinemas, just like….oh wait. Sorry.

1. Thunderstorm: The Return of Thor

So what’s better than a movie with Thor, Iron Man, and Ant-Man?

A movie with Thor in an Iron Man suit that looks like Ant-Man’s costume. Except it’s not Thor. It’s a guy named Grant.

Yeap, essentially, Grant builds a battle suit with a weapon that “looks like a hammer” which he then reluctantly uses to rescue a girl who turns out to be a vessel that the bad guys want to use to bring down Asgard. Thor only shows up to provide exposition and so the movie can have “Thor” in the title. Also, Asgard looks like this:

You can find the full copy of this movie pretty easily on YouTube.

2. Fantastic Four (Unreleased 1994 movie)

This isn’t the flashy 2000’s series of Fantastic Four movies, but an unreleased low-budget movie from 1994 that was sold as bootleg copies before being uploaded into the internet.

As the story goes, the movie rights to Fantastic Four were originally held by a small German studio. With the rights expiring, they either had to make a movie or let those rights lapse and be sold to a different studio. Their solution was to produce a Fantastic Four movie on a fantastically low budget of $2 million and a timeline of just 21 days. What added to the drama was that the studio allegedly never told the actors or the director that they didn’t intend to release the movie.

But despite the obvious low budget costumes and effects, 1994 Fantastic Four is noted to be the most faithful movie adaptation, down to some actors copying gestures that the characters would make in the comics.

You can find the full version of this movie pretty easily on YouTube.

3. Avengers Grimm

After stepping into the broken Magic Mirror (yes that famous mirror) four princesses (Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, Cinderella and Rapunzel) are each bestowed with unique magical powers in order to stop Rumplestiltskin  from taking over the world.

So yes, it’s basically a movie ‘inspired’ by the Avengers movie but featuring fairytale superhero princesses battling a goblin trickster. Fun fact though: One of the actors in the film Lou Ferrigno, the original Hulk.

It’s a little hard for Malaysians to get this one since it’s not on Netflix or Disney Hotstar, but you can find it on YouTube if you look hard enough.

4. Sinister Squad

Alice (as in Alice in Wonderland punya Alice) needs help stopping an evil force and her only solution is to fight evil with evil.

So she recruits fairytale villains such as Rumplestilskin, the Big Bad Wolf, Queen of Hearts, DJ Mad Hatter and Bluebeard who are forced to work together to stop a supernatural cult called Death Messengers, in order to reduce their sentences.

Sound familiar, puddin’?

This movie got a 17% rating on Rotten Tomatoes, with many users pointing out the similarities to Suicide Squad. You can judge for yourself in the trailer below:

5. Supaidaman (1970’s TV series, Japan)

This Spider-Man TV series from Japan has no Aunt May or Mary Jane, but there’s giant robots, fantastic gadgets and villians that grow into large versions after being defeated the first time.

If it sounds like Power Rangers (or Super Sentai if you wanna be nerdy about it), you’re kinda right.

The Japanese version completely rewrites the familiar lore of Spider-Man, replacing Peter Parker with Takuya Yamshiro; a man who got his powers after being injected with the blood of Garia, the last alien survivor of Planet Spider. He also inherits Garia’s spaceship that transforms into a giant battlebot, and houses the Spider-mobile when Japanese Spider-Man needs to zoom around in style.

By the way, there’s a little history behind it.  TOEI Company (who also make the Super Sentai series) approached Stan Lee with the idea of developing a Japanese Spider-Man. Hesitant at first, Stan Lee eventually agreed to it after learnign about the character’s popularity in Japan. You can watch that segment here, or just enjoy the best moments from the show below:

https://youtu.be/LFYIRZoyavw

6. Badang

Yay! A local movie!

While there is a character in Malay folklore sharing the same name, this Badang is a…little different. Essentially, he has super strength and invisibility but becomes completely weak when in contact with water. Unfortunately, he doesn’t assemble a pirate crew in search of the One Piece but instead dons a superhero costume to avenge his mother’s death at the hands of the criminal Dragon Gang.

This movie was panned when it was released, and it totally didn’t help when star Dato Sri Aliff Syukri (a well-known entrepreneur) said that Badang was “better than Black Panther“ in response to critics.

You can also go further down the rabbit hole

If you think these meh, you can venture into more ridiculous territory with options like The Amazing Bulk, Metal Man, and one famous segment from Dariya Dil:

But if you wants something a little more extreme, we heavily recommend Sgt. Kabukiman, NYPD – a movie where a cop receives powers that turn him into a kabuki hero with heat-seeking chopsticks and deadly sushi. Just be warned that it’s from Troma Films, a studio that prides itself with creating B-grade masterpieces with gratuitous gore and nudity. One of their alumni is Guardians of the Galaxy director James Gunn, who co-wrote the script to Tromeo & Juliet.