4 Places to Watch World Cup for Free (Mamaks aren’t free)

Mamak, bars, and McD’s aren’t really the cheapest places to watch the World Cup. Why spend RM10 per night on a plate of nasi lemak ayam and teh ais when you can save it for that fake MC you’ll be taking on Monday 14th July to watch the Finals. We’re assuming a number of people have lost money due to the unpredictable nature of the tournament where big teams have been knocked out in the early stages, so we’re trying to help you spend wisely. Also it’s pretty dangerous to stay out late as the The Star just reported that 2 friends were robbed at a restaurant while watching the games. So for you fans without ASTRO and TVs, we’ve created a list of other places to watch the WC14 for free and safe too! To help you decide which location is suitable, we’ve categorised them based on their facilities, from the best to the least. In the spirit of Fair Play we’ve also created legit excuses for each venue to give your boss so you won’t kena a red card (here are more ways to ponteng work just in case).

1. The Office

Yes that’s right, your office is the best place to watch (If you don’t have an office then find a buddy that does). If you’re a alcoworkaholic like us, this will already be your second home and what a great place to cheer for your favourite team than in your own comfort zone! Even better if you can screen the game on the conference room’s projector. Naggy significant other or family members giving you shit for staying up late? No problem, just tell them you’re doing OT.

Facilities:

• Aircon: Yes
• F&B: Free pantry food
• Comfortable: Yes (you can even use the boss’ big comfy chair)
• Clean toilets: Yes
• Safety: Yes
• Can watch with friends: Yes
• Noise level: Wake the dead

Golden goal: All matches are in the wee hours of the morning so after the game you can just wash up and get ready for work.

Red card excuse: “Sorry boss but can I leave a little earlier today, I was in the office until quite late, I want to be a team-player and be more goal-oriented”.

2. The Hospital

Most major hospitals have TVs in the waiting lounges and the Emergency & Accidents section is open 24 hours as well. We suggest you visit a few hospitals to see which is the best and to check if they have Astro channels, plus traffic’s pretty clear after midnight to avoid additional injury time or you can call up friends who are in the medical field. If you’ve managed to make friends with the nurses or docs, you can even ask them if the players are faking injuries.

Facilities:

• Aircon: Yes
• F&B: Most hospitals have 7-11s
• Comfortable: It varies with the hospital. Some have cushion seats while some have plastic ones.
• Clean toilets: Yes
• Safety: Yes
• Can watch with friends: Yes (can pretend to be a family waiting for a patient).
• Noise level: Don’t wake the dead

Golden goal: If you’re suffering from heart problems, high blood pressure, lack of sleep, or hypertension; this is the best place to watch football.

Red card excuse: “sorry boss last night whole night was in hospital… only came back 6am“. If you’re lucky you might get the rest of the day off.

3. Security Guard Pondok

Now this may be a lil out of the box but it works. Especially if you live in an apartment/condo or your housing area has one of those make shift pondoks with barricades. Most sekuriti pondoks don’t have ASTRO (they’re not supposed to be watching TV lah hello!) so you would have to rely on good ol’ RTM. Do note that RTM will only be showing 35 out of the 64 matches so check their viewing schedule here.

Facilities: 

• Aircon: Natural air or fan
• F&B: Bring Your Own
• Comfortable: Varies with the size of the pondok, also you may have to bring your own chair.
• Clean toilets: Mother Nature
• Safety: Yes
• Can watch with friends: No, lack of space
• Noise level: Don’t wake the neighbourhood

Golden goal: You get to kam cheng with the guards and become friends with benefits i.e. “Bang saya ada parti besar besok, boleh bagi semua kawan saya masuk… no need ID check boleh? Ok jangan lupa itu brazil main pukul 3 ar”

Red card excuse: “Sorry boss I’m late, I volunteered for the local neighbourhood watch so last night was my turn to jaga at the pondok… we have a tight defence formation“.

4. The Balai Polis

If you thought the pondok sekuriti was far fetched, this is worse. The size of the TV usually varies with the size of the station. It’s easy to spot which station has Astro by spotting the dish on the roof. If the match is dull you can watch the real life dramas of people making reports or officers planning roadblocks. But don’t get caught offside, be sure to inform the officers on duty of your intentions before making yourself at home or you might just get a penalty and a kick.

Facilities:

• Aircon: Maybe
• F&B: Bring Your Own
• Comfortable: Maybe not. Think plastic chairs or koyak cushions.
• Clean toilets: Maybe
• Safety: Yes (and no)
• Can watch with friends: Not more than 2.
• Noise level: Depends on the officers’ mood and how loud the detainees are screaming.

Golden goal: Probably the safest place from being robbed or attacked by angry bookies but just don’t do anything we would to annoy them lah. No Rosmah or JAIS jokes. Also keep the weed at home.

Red card excuse: “Sorry boss I’m late, last night had to teman my friend go balai polis… we were there until so late we ended up belanja the officers breakfast“.

Ed: May not be 100% free as some stations may require you to belanja kopi *wink wink*.