6 Malaysian dads who showed us what bravery really means

Now that we’re older (CILISOS all over 26 except Hans), we realise that a good parent would do anything to fulfill their responsibilities. Making sure family gets enough nasi, keeping a roof over everyone’s heads, making sure the kids pass their SPM… even if it means making tough choices that would make them the ‘bad cop’.

With Father’s Day coming up this weekend, Allianz Malaysia wants to honour those dad’s that dared to make the tough decisions that we kids often benefit from… to encourage our readers not just to share their stories, but in doing so, to realise that not all decisions in life seem right at the time.

Allianz has chosen the motto “Dare To. We’re with you.” , to encourage ugaiz to start living the life you want by taking chances, with the assurance that whether its financial support, or a safety net, they’ve got your back.

So we’ve decided to ask our readers to tell us about a brave or difficult decision their fathers have made, and how it has lead to great things in the end. For this week’s sponsored content, here are 6 heartwarming stories about the people who sponsor our very lives…

 

1. The dad who would go to jail for his son

The dare: 10 years in jail

When Yang Han was a university student, he had gone home for the holidays. He was driving while his dad sat in the front passenger seat. All was going well, until he reached a road junction. Yang Han didn’t see an oncoming motorcyclist and accidentally turned into his path. Immediately, the motorcyclist skidded, fell off his bike, and hit their car.

At that very moment, here’s what his father said to him:

“If he is dead, we’ll tell the police that it was me driving.” – Yang Han’s dad

If you needed a refresher, Section 41 (1) of the Road Transport Act 1987 (where a driver has been driving ‘carelessly and in a dangerous manner and causing death’) can lock you up in jail for up to 10 years!

Thankfully, the motorcyclist was alive with only a few scrapes on his body. “We settled to fix the motorcycle and we compensated him for his injury,” said Yang Han. When the event was over, Yang Han had a realisation. “My dad really showed me what it means to be a father, and how much he loves me. Now that I am a father myself, guess who I’m using as my role model?“.

 

2. The dad who insisted on the right mother for his children

The dare: To be disowned by the family

“Back in the 1940s in Sabak Bernam, my dad found my mom. He was a handsome man who used to play basketball for the school. In his 20s though, he was being groomed to take over his father’s dentistry business,” Yun tells us. But as luck would have it, he fell in love with the daughter of a Cantonese goldsmith.

Being the eldest son from a first-generation Shanghainese family, her parents (particularly her mother) were very much against it. Yun tells us that back in the day, it was difficult for youngsters to go against their parents, especially when you’re trying to take over the family business.

“My father believed in his heart of hearts that this was the woman for him, so he married her anyway.” – Yun

It was difficult from the very first day. Grandma was constantly reminding him that he went against her wishes, and nitpicked everything that my mother did. “My dad however, with his trademark quiet confidence, would just take it on the chin, while constantly reminding us kids that we had a great mom, who did everything she could for the family,” Yun adds.

Things got better in the later years living with the family in Rawang, as Grandma somewhat learned to accept Yun’s mother. The happy couple lived in the same room and in the same house for over 50 years, and even when Yun’s dad was in a wheelchair, he would still insist on her sitting on his lap for pictures.

“When he passed away earlier this year, there was still a picture of him and my mom in their early years, proudly hung on the highest point of the room.” – Yun

 

3. The dad who stepped up to HERO level 

The dare: His worst 6-legged nightmare

We all have our phobias, be it height or mothers-in-law or even… the common cockroach. (And 10x worse if they can actually fly omgwtf) And such was the case of a then 11-year-old Durrah and her father. 

It was 6am and the house was dark. Durrah would usually instinctively check for cockroaches before using the toilet, but for some reason, she forgot and headed straight to the shower. “While showering, I suddenly felt something creeping up my leg. When I looked down, I saw a big fat roach on my leg,” she tells us. “I ended up screaming so loud, I woke up the entire house and my dad came rushing to my aid.”

She came out of the bathroom and ran to her dad, who like her, was massively terrified of roaches himself. (Apparently, he’s still afraid of them till today!) But he bit his lip, found some cojones and marched into the tiny bathroom, chasing the roach and finally capturing it. 

“This action may seem small and insignificant but for an 11-year-old at that time, my father was a hero. And he still is. Doing the things you hate or are scared of, just because you love your child.” – Durrah 

 

4. The dad who almost got fired for sending his kid for tuition

The dare: His job and livelihood

What would you do if you realised you were going to fail your SPM? In the beginning of the year, Jonathan scored only 20 for his Modern Maths, and knew he had to buck up.

“I turned into this kiasu guy and enrolled myself into 7 tuition centres. No sh*t, I didn’t even tell my family,” he tell us. “They freaked out a bit when I told them how much they needed to fork out for my fees.”

His dad didn’t say much back then, and without complaints, he sent Jonathan from school to tuition centre, then picked him up at 4pm to send him to another centre, and then to another centre, and finally picking him up at 8pm. This went on for about 9 months, and his dad never said anything about the hassle. It was only years later he realised the significance of this dedication.

“Now that I’m holding a full-time job, I realise how this arrangement was a COMPLETE logistical nightmare. Imagine telling your boss or subordinates that you need to leave work at 2pm and 4pm everyday, for 9 months!” he says. “How many times he had to give lame excuses (sorry boss ada client), or how he must’ve gotten snitched by his colleagues. I could’ve gotten him fired.” 

But like a good father, Jonathan’s dad never mentioned any of this nor did he show any sign of stress from doing so. And sure enough… it paid off.

“I remember calling my dad when the results were announced. “Dad, I scored 8As for my SPM!!” . From a son who is likely to fail, to a top scholar at the end of the year, I made him proud.” – Jonathan

And although he has never acknowledged his joy in front of Jonathan, he was once overheard saying, “Eh my boy not bad ah. Almost straight A’s leh.”

 

5. The dad who taught his daughter how to stand up for others

The dare: Teenage bullies

Crossdressers are often victims of bullying, whether from the authorities or public, and sometimes even their own families. Not many would stand up for them, but here’s a story of one man who did.

Sharm was a young teenager when her dad took her shopping for clothes. It was going very well until they reached the women’s underwear section. “There were 2 young cross-dressing men who were visibly nervous as they made their selections. Within minutes, some teenagers, a little older than I was, started taunting and teasing them,” she tells us. She didn’t quite know what to do at that point.

“It was then when my dad stepped up next to me and gave the bullies an earful, so much so they took off in a hurry. He didn’t threaten them physically, but made it clear that they had to leave or deal with him and the police.”

The two young crossdressers gave Sharm’s father appreciative looks and he nodded back in acknowledgement. And although the encounter took less than 10 minutes, the effect lasted a lifetime with Sharm. Her father also told her later that day:

“Whether or not I agree with other people’s lives, it shouldn’t stand in the way of always doing the right thing.” – Sharm’s dad

These words resonated with Sharm, who lived her life by the same principles and are passing them down to her own children. “Did my dad do something brave for me? Definitely, because he taught me that a life lived in honour is a life well lived,” she adds.

 

6. The dad who left his business and his family to make things better

The dare: Loansharks and his beloved pub business

Not everyone has the privilege of being born wealthy, and such was the case of Rose’s family. With her grandfather selling salted fish (trivia: jumpingsaltfishdaily.my was one of the options for CILISOS site name)  in the market, and grandma doing odd jobs she could find, Rose’s dad couldn’t get a fancy education. In fact, he worked odd jobs too. After getting married and having Rose and her older brother, Rose’s dad decided to take a massive leap of faith: by taking a big loan and starting his own business.

“It was a local pub that did well at the beginning, but times got hard and the business couldn’t keep up,” Rose tells us. Suddenly, dad was left with a heavy debt, a hungry family, and lurking loansharks threatening our family’s safety.”

Rose couldn’t describe in detail all that fell apart in his life, but recalls her parents being very brave back then. He took responsibility for himself and made a difficult decision: to close the business and work on a ship in Singapore for a couple of years. “Dad didn’t get a glamorous job, just a humble menial labour job since he did not have qualifications for something higher,” she says. She also didn’t see him for a couple of years since finances were low.

“I was a toddler back then. When he finally returned, he was a stranger to me. I think that did break him.” – Rose

It took the family many more years after to steady themselves, and being young, she hadn’t understood the situation and got angry for not getting what other children in school had. “I did not realise how much my selfish thoughts hurt him as a father,” she tells us.

But her father never gave up – he took every opportunity to improve and learn, working long hours to give his children the life he didn’t have and wanted for them. But years and many failures after, today, her father is now an influential director of an award-winning landscaping company. Rose is able to live comfortably, traveling and receiving quality education. She recalls his words: “My dear daughter, real failures are those who allow their circumstances to define their outcome.”

“I am so proud to be my father’s daughter because he is a fighter. Life pushed him down seven times and he stood up on the eighth for his family.” – Rose

 

WAH. Life is really full of tough decisions!

Whether it was starting a business, or defying culture to marry the woman of his dreams, these daddies showed us that daring to take risks and stepping out of the comfort zone can lead to great things. Speaking of which, it was a pretty darn hard decision to choose which of these entries would make the cut, so Allianz and CILISOS will be giving all ugaiz some movie tickets to bond with your dads (check your emails!).

So this Father’s Day (REMINDER: This Sunday 19th June ugaiz!), take some time out to stop thinking of your dad as just the guy who gave birth to you, and start viewing them as someone who’s got your back no matter what… who takes care of things behind your back, and who loves you enough to dare to look at your life’s challenges and ask…

Happy Father’s Day, Malaysians!