Sometimes, when we go to a club in Hong Kong, or Thailand, there’s always a few things to remind us that we’re not back in Malaysia. Maybe it’s the bouncer, the way they serve the drinks… or even the music they play. Or maybe it’s because after clubbing, everyone just goes… HOME!?
A few weeks ago, we teamed up with Smirnoff Ice to ask what makes Malaysian clubbers so unique. And boy did you guys not disappoint.
Why Smirnoff Ice so kepoh about Malaysian clubbers?
Smirnoff Ice is already the world’s #1 pre-mixed drink , bringing its unique brand of energy to dance floors across the world. BUT, their brand isn’t just about energy, but is also served with a generous dose of unpretentiousness, and not giving a crap what people think, which is why Smirnoff Ice has a particular affinity to the quirks of Malaysian clubbers.
So let’s take a look at why Malaysian clubbers are such friggin unicorns, starting with…
1. They always try-luck with Happy Hour
“Clearly knows till what time happy hour and yet show up after happy hour and the ask the waiter ” still hapihour ah?” – Kumaresan Magaswaran
Ok Kumar, we know what you’re wondering. IF when it comes to Malaysians – 9pm does not mean 9pm… THEN why all these drinking places must be so punctual la dey!? Kasi chan la… we got caught in traffic ma.
Don’t worry bro. CILISOS got yo back yo. Here’s a convenient list of best happy hour spots, some that thankfully go beyond the magical 9pm mark (why after 9pm not happy meh?). OR you could just grab a bottle of Smirnoff Ice for just RM15!
AAAAAAND there’s always the super Malaysian budget option of drinking at home first, then only going out. But where’s the fun in that?
2. There’s always that one friend that disappears halfway thru the night
” Malaysian clubbers tends to dutch and split the bill among each other if they came in a group and mostly the guys pay for the girls. However, there will always be someone that wasn’t invited but came along to party, drink and disappears when the bill arrived.” – EL
It might be because the bill came, or that they’re social butterflies, or that they didn’t wanna drink, or that they got lucky somewhere. BUT EVERYONE has that one friend that always disappears at the club. It’s a good thing it’s usually the same guy, otherwise it’d be worrying.
Do you have one too?
3. The guest-list game
“Open a bottle at a club (which usually admits 4 people) but then try and bring in more friends. This usually works with girls, where a girl in a skimpy outfit will try to smile at the bouncer dudes and get away with going in for free.” – Stephanie Mae
Yep. One of the main reasons why our Editor stopped clubbing after 35 was because the guest-list game always makes him feel like he’s 18 again. There are MANY MANY tactics for this game. Ask the chicks to ask their guy friends, those with member card bring some in, or bargain with the doorbeech to let more in if you buy mebe two bottles.
It’s kinda fun when you’re 18 and trying to save money, but even when you can totally afford it at 35, there’s always the one friend that says “DON’T WORRY BRO, MY FRIEND INSIDE WILL KOWTIM!”
Of course, we all know how hard it is for his friend to hear his phone, inside a club, while he’s trying to pick up a chick, and his phone is on silent. So wait outside lor… and feel young again 🙂
4. The wait for the hit-song
“Will be dancing normally until ‘hit‘ song – that is overplayed on ALL radio stations – comes on and then all dance like dungus and start cheering.” – Fiona Ng
This is what a dancefloor looks like when the DJ is playing the super-cool obscure track he discovered last night.
And then a few minutes later once Bruno Mars comes on the speakers.
Add to this the uo-uo, and a few random n00b guys trying to get on the podium.
5. Paying good money to WhatsApp each other
- Outfit for Clubbing – RM350
- Petrol to clubbing during peak hour – RM20
- Parking at Hotel Maya – RM20
- Sharing a bottle to get in – RM80
“Busy sending whatsapp message and posting selfies on snapchat and instagram” – Esther
On this point, we share your frustration. Most people don’t pay RM4 (yea naik harga cos RM) for WhatsApp, but are willing to shell loads of money out for a good night, and spend a big part of their night texting on their phones. Or updating FB, or instagramming, or taking duckface selfies.
The exception are those really cool photos where you shoot, then wiggle wiggle and get those fancy lights like those people in Barsonic always do. Those are cooool…
6. Pretending you understand what your friends are saying
“Act like you can hear your friend with the loud music at the background. You hear nothing, keep nodding and smiling while shaking that shoulders.” – KHOR CHIN SHIH
Let’s face it. It’s damn hard to hear people in a club. But us being the polite Asians we are, we just pretend like we do. Whether it’s someone asking us how much the bill is, or even trying some cheesy pickup line, we still smile, and subtly decide whether we should nod or shake our head, or something in between that just kinda acknowledges the situation.
7. SUPPER! (Duh)
“Always feels hungry after club and will go for a steamboat van supper or yumcha at mamak stall” – Carmen
DUH. This is literally half the reason we go out in the first place. Come 3am, mamaks and chinese coffee shops fill up with extra well-dressed people looking for a bite. Unlike other countries with their pathetic choices of kebabs or whatever pastries are left at 7-11, in Malaysia, we are SPOILT FOR CHOICE (Singapore too, but generally less tasty).
8. Those weird not-quite sunnies
“Young frys so style wear the spectacles with some complex horizontal-vertical design where the lens should be. Already so dark and crowded in the club. With that blockage, CAN SEE MEH??” – Martin
Ya we try before. Ours got lights somemore… can’t see poop wei. But just so you know, Martin, some of those designs (the ones with the solid lenses) are known as diffraction glasses, and to answer whether can see or not, here’s what they look like on the inside.
So to answer your question… er.. probably kenot.
BUT WHO GIVES A CRAP!?
C’mon ugaiz! We’re MALAYSIAN! And the best part of being Malaysian is we sure as heck know how to have fun on a FRIDAY NIGHT YO!
So wear the dumb shades, do what you need to skip the cover charge, or disappear and go have some lukluk. WHO CARES as long as you’re having a good time!?
Thanks to everyone for taking the time to join this contest, and of course to our buds at Smirnoff Ice for sponsoring! And remember…