Since our first Singapoke article, we’ve received many emails asking us about our column and why we’re doing what we’re doing. Ok la, we had 2 two emails and one of them was from my mother.

But still. We know you have many questions, and also – before the Singapore ISA officers start knocking on our doors, we thought we better clear the air about some misconceptions.

Q1. What is Singapoke about?

Aiya, like this also have to ask meh? It’s about investigative, hard-hitting journalism with the sole aim of making fun of our neighbours.

Q2. Do you hate them?

Don’t be silly. We like to visit the city every now and then, even if we have to torture our taste buds in the process. Yes, there are Singaporeans everywhere you look but then again, no country is perfect.

Q3. What about the rest of Asia?

The rest of Asia is not as fun loving as Singapore. For example, insulting the King in Thailand will get you a 10-year jail sentence. Brunei, we don’t know much about but we’d like to get invited to their parties. Myanmar is full of elephants and temples. Indonesia … um, ah …ooh, for North Korea, we have this excellent article.

Q4. What if they kena us back?

Eh, you think their newspapers are full of praises about Singapore ah? Mostly, it’s about how bad Malaysia is at this and that. Anything they can blame on Malaysia, they will blame on Malaysia. MRT breakdown also we kena. Good thing we have more press freedom in Bolehland.

Q5. Wow, I didn’t know that. I should bookmark cilisos.my

Hey, thanks. Please do. We love you too.

Q6. Actually, don’t you have anything better to do?

Um, we’re kinda pokai after losing money on the Holland/ Spain match so… yeah, nowadays we just sit around at home in our pyjamas mostly.

Q7. Can I tag my friend in Singapore when I share your article?

Absolutely! Singaporeans have a good sense of humour and love reading about their country.

Q8. Alright. Hey, where can I find a good popiah place in Singapore?

Drive to Johor.

Q9. What if they don’t allow us to go to Universal Studios or something?

Relax, Universal Studios is owned by Genting Group so it’s cool. If they make too much noise about the price of water or something, we’ll move it to Johor no problem!

Q10. Phew, that’s good to know.

This is what we call hard-hitting, investigative journalism.

Q11. I’m a Singaporean, can I cha Malaysia as well?

No.