Crime Food Lifestyle Weirdness

What does dog food REALLY taste like? We cuba and reviewed

We’re back at it again, baby. This time, we tried out wet dog food. Oh, what joy. For those of y’all who missed the prequel to this culinary journey, we tried out five brands of wet cat food in this article, and we’re doing the same with five wet dog foods.

Just two dudes eating dog food. Nothing to see here.

Like before, we’re judging these pet yum yums mainly by their smell and flavor, but things like texture, appearance, and price point come into play as well. Having tasted the cat food, we (namely me, our editor, and one of our video persons) were apprehensive about the dog food, but can you really blame us? Only one of the cat foods was even remotely tasty, and one of them tasted like a sardine smoothie. Blegh.

We tore open the first packet of dog food expecting it to be ruff, and… it wasn’t bad at all.

 

1. Cesar Naturally Crafted Australian Turkey

I have to say that the design of the can screamed “premium”, from the label with the Japanese words (even though it’s made in Australia) to the polished gold hue of the can itself. We could see chunks of what looked like vegetables, so that was cool.

Smell: As if it had been seasoned with spices, there was a smoky scent to the meat paste. Fancy.

Taste: Tasted like an unsalted meat stew, which is not entirely unpleasant, and weirdly, both our editor and I tasted black pepper. It was such a step up from the cat food that I questioned whether I was a dog food person, and our editor replied:

Maybe you’re just a dog – UiHua, professional zoologist.

Price: RM4.30

Verdict: A solid ★★★★★★★★★☆

 

2. Pedigree Puppy Chicken Flavor in Gravy

Smell: The packaging gave us a bit of PTSD cuz it’s similar to the cat food ones. To my relief, it smelled like luncheon meat.

Taste: We once again tasted pepper somewhere in the meat and gravy, prompting us to check the packaging to see if pepper was listed as one of the ingredients. Nope, but it did say that it contained “herbs”, so we’ll go ahead and say maybe. This one did not taste as good as the Cesar, but overall, not bad.

Price: RM2.70

Verdict: ★★★★★★★☆☆☆

 

3. Morando Professional Pâté with Duck

I chose this one cuz it had the word “pâté” on the label. I didn’t know what it meant, only that it sounded atas. I’ve since learned that it’s French for “meat paste”.

Smell: Upon opening the can, both the smell and the look of the processed meat reminded our editor of brains. Just look at this.

Taste: We swear we weren’t tripping – we tasted pepper for the third time in a row. The meat itself didn’t taste too unappealing, just regular ol’ unsalted meat paste.

Price: RM3.50

Verdict: Average/10

 

4. Schesir Chicken Fillets with Pineapple

When I saw this bad boy on the shelf at the pet store, I knew I had to give it a try. It looked more like canned food that’s made for people rather than pets – I mean, “Chicken Fillets with Pineapple” in six languages on the label? A paper sleeve over the can? Say no more.

Smell: Nothing to really note here since it didn’t smell particularly good or bad.

Taste: The shredded chicken and chunks of pineapple wouldn’t have looked out of place on a Hawaiian pizza. Taste-wise, though, I’ll defer to our editor:

The chicken bits taste like when you the leftover chicken from when you make chicken broth. Bland, but would be fantastic with some soy sauce – UiHua, furry enthusiast.

Price: RM11 a pop (!!!)

Verdict: ★★★★★★★★★★ without soy sauce, 11/10 with soy sauce

 

5. Pro Balance Pro Selection Beef with Veggie

Smell: Smelled like dog biscuits. After the previous ones, the Pro Balance felt like a letdown, and not just in terms of smell. It looked like SUPER old canned soup that has solidified over time.

Taste: No texture to speak of. Straight jelly. There were pieces of potato mixed in, and our editor said they tasted bitter and burnt. I didn’t mind them too much cuz they tasted better than the meat jelly. The jelly was nasty.

Price: RM5.70

Verdict: ★☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆, worst of the dog food lot

 

Dog food tasted better than cat food… to us

Oh, my.

I’ve already talked about the poverty in old people that led them to a diet of pet food, so we’ll spare you the shpiel today. Instead, I’ll share some thoughts about the whole experiment. First off, if you’re in a post-apocalyptic world, go for wet dog food instead of cat food, unless you’re desperate with a capital D. Cat food’s fine for your cats, but ugh, we couldn’t really stand the taste of it. Our editor really liked the Schesir, and my MVP was the Cesar, but your mileage may vary.

Also, I’m not really sure why, but wet cat food seemed to be on the cheaper side compared to dog food, and there were waaaay more brands selling wet cat food. Maybe they’re cheaper cuz of the competition, but who knows.

Anywho, we fed the leftover cat food to our office cats (yes, there are two now) and our editor took the dog food home to feed his dad’s dog, Longkang. And since we got 200 likes on the cat food review Facebook post, we’ll do kibbles sometime in the future <3. Anton Ego out.

 

 

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