CILISOS Syok Sendiri Culture Weirdness

Which Malaysian politician has the sexiest voice? We listened to all 222 MPs.

This writer was watching the recent Budget 2022 announcement when he realized two things:

  1. Most of the actual content of the Budget went into one ear and out the other; and
  2. He could really only remember voices of MPs that stood out to him.

How do people stay awake during these?

…which makes sense, if you think about it. How a person’s voice sounds to us influences (to a degree) how we feel about them; whether it be engaging, persuasive, or just plain annoying. So that got us thinking one level deeper – a lot of people already have opinions on certain politicians, especially when you already know their names and faces, but what if we take away those and only leave the voices?

This writer took the time to pick out 10 MPs after listening to all 222 of them, and coerced the every staff member to vote on who they thought sounded the best; without disclosing the politicians’ names or faces. How did the MPs stack up? Who sounded the sexiest? Well…

 

1. Sexiest Voice

Writer’s comment: Dude’s really got the type of voice that’ll get your panties in a twist, man or woman. I’d subscribe to his ASMR Youtube channel, but he unfortunately hasn’t started one yet, so I’ll just have to settle with his Dewan Rakyat clips.

Best CILISOS staff comment: Okay. This one screams “daddy, and make it *star emoji* POSH *star emoji*”. Also, I don’t know what accent that is, but it is H O T. My God… this is the voice I’d want to hear while getting r-read a book at night while being tucked in to sleep… BRB replaying this over and over again.

Bonus comment: He sounds like he is out of breath he needs a glass of water.

Which politician is the owner of this voice?

Khairy Jamaluddin: Minister of Health, MP for Rembau

 

2. Most Villainous Voice

Writer’s comment: This man takes his time with his words. His voice makes him sound like he’s always composed, and isn’t prone to any sudden moves (except for the Sheraton Move).

Best CILISOS staff comment: He sounds confident, calm and collected… He might be able to persuade me to do things for him… It’s giving main villain vibes from the Far Cry games.

Bonus comment: Woah. This guy could be a cult leader.

Which politician is the owner of this voice?

Azmin Ali: Senior Minister in charge of Trade & Industry, MP for Gombak

 

3. Best Podcast Voice

Writer’s comment: Reminded me of something you’d hear over the public announcement system in an airport. <Yeah,> that chill yet professional voice telling you that you’re 20 minutes late and you should really haul your butt to the right boarding gate right now.

Best CILISOS staff comment: Not particularly sexy, but I do love her voice, it’s very calming. Sounds like one of those podcasts I play to fall asleep. 8/10

Bonus comment: Sounds like a divorced mom that is tired of her job and her children

Which politician is the owner of this voice?

Hanifah Hajar Taib: Deputy Minister in the PM’s Department, MP for Mukah

 

4. Most Divisive Voice

Writer’s comment: Half the office loved his voice, and the other half hated it. I personally liked the sing-song way he speaks… it’s oddly hypnotic.

Best CILISOS staff comment: His voice feels like a bar of soft soap for some reason. It sounds…. Velvety soft. So soft. It feels like if he started yelling at you, you’d end up feeling sorry for him more than feeling bad because of all the negative decibels in his voice.

NAH, BACA:
5 excuses given by Malaysian politicians that made people more angry

Bonus comment: Cannot quite put my finger on what’s wrong, but something about this person turns me off.

Which politician is the owner of this voice?

Shafie Apdal: MP for Semporna

 

5. Most “Osim Massage Chair” Voice

Writer’s comment: He sounds like Donnie Yen to my ears and I will fight anyone who disagrees with me.

Best CILISOS staff comment: His voice has a nice reverb, if you use over ear headphones it’s like having an Osim chair for your cochlea ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Bonus comment: Nice pitch and timbre, could be hot but totally ruined by the hesitant manner of speaking. Like he’s desperate to please at times.

Which politician is the owner of this voice?

Wong Tack: MP for Bentong

 

6. Loudest Voice

Writer’s comment: Never thought I’d find Bung Mokhtar’s voice even remotely pleasant, but here we are. If I hadn’t known he’s the type of guy who goes around throwing F-bombs in Parliament, I’d have said that he sounds like an earnest, sincere guy who means well but sounds a bit rough around the edges.

Best CILISOS staff comment: Well, he shouted when he was giving his speech. If I had to listen to his talk for like 4-5 minutes, my eardrum would have been destroyed by his voice.

Bonus comment: Sounds exactly like my grandfather… “ah gong” (grandpa in various Chinese dialects) stop shouting we can hear you.

Which politician is the owner of this voice?

Bung Mokhtar: Deputy Chief Minister I & State Minister of Works of Sabah, MP for Kinabatangan

 

7. Tak Boleh Karaoke Voice

Writer’s comment: Not gonna lie, I only chose him because he belted out a song when he was being interviewed on live TV.

Best CILISOS staff comment: What Saturday night karaoke is this? His voice has a bit of a grate to it that isn’t unpleasant but doesn’t have a satisfying ending, like eating a Cornetto without the chocolate at the end of the cone.

Bonus comment: Actually his voice was not bad but then his singing spoilt everything.

Which politician is the owner of this voice?

Abdullah Sani Abdul Hamid: MP for Kapar

 

8. Most Uncle Voice

Writer’s comment: There’s a huskiness to his voice I associate with listening to the blues at 4am in the morning while crying yourself to sleep. 7/10 would sniffle again.

Best CILISOS staff comment: Sounds like my other uncle. Won’t be surprised if this is my other uncle. Don’t ask me if I think this voice is sexy cause it sounds like my other uncle.

Bonus comment: I just finished my JPJ test and this reminded me of the officers there. War flashbacks are REAL. Also he’s kind of mumbling. No nais.

Which politician is the owner of this voice?

Tengku Adnan: MP for Putrajaya

 

9. Steadiest Voice

Writer’s comment: His voice is fairly pedestrian but I like that I’m still listening to him even though I have no idea what I’m hearing half the time.

Best CILISOS staff comment: Sounds like it’s not his first time getting an interview. Probably worked for quite some time which suggest he is probably very “experienced” (the way he says sayang hahaha) It’s giving sugar daddy vibes?

Bonus comment: Nice, strong voice and character, and that vaguely East Malaysian accent is not bad at all. 9/10 would let him convince me to do stuff.

Which politician is the owner of this voice?

Mohamad Alamin: Deputy Minister of Education II. MP for Kimanis

 

10. Motherly-est Voice

Writer’s comment: Yes, grandma, I’ll have a second bowl of rice, please.

Best CILISOS staff comment: OMG she reminds me of a grandmother who would constantly keep feeding you during CNY dinners, and can be a huge savage if you dared to mess with her. Not sexy at all, but lowkey feels like home. <3

Bonus comment: She sounds like my insurance agent that likes to guilt trip you when she fails at convincing you to do something. She likes to play victim. Wait am I overdoing this?

Which politician is the owner of this voice?

Wan Azizah: Deputy PM, Minister of Women, Family and Community Development, MP for Pandan

 

 

 

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