12 questions by Msians about Singapore answered by Gurmit Singh!

The never-ending banter between Malaysians and Singaporeans is, well, never-ending. It’s been this way for years now, and by the looks of it, it’ll never change. They take our water, we take their jobs… Their currency is super keng-chow powerful, but still cannot chew bubblegum… Aih.

But let’s leave it to the big guns to whack it out.

Come next Thursday and Friday (14th & 15th May 2015) at the HGH Convention Centre KL, our homeboy comedians Douglas Lim and Rizal van Geyzel will come face-to-face with Singapore’s hilarious motormouth queen, Kumar. Hosted by Gurmit Singh himself, this 2 and a half hours standup comedy wants to make you laugh till you die. 

Erm… Figuratively la, cause the event’s called ‘Laugh Die You’ (direct translation of ‘siu sei lei’, a Cantonese slang which simply means to ‘laugh until you die’).

Now, the awesome guys behind Popcorn Studio gave CILISOS a chance to email a whole bunch of questions to Gurmit Singh himself, so what better way than to ask our equally awesome readers + friends to submit their own questions?

We narrowed down submissions to 12 questions, which… umm… may have ticked off the man himself. Heh. Anyway, here’s what these Malaysians were curious about Singaporeans.

1. On looking down on us:

“Because we are physically taller, we have no choice but to look down. Even when I met the producers of ‘Laugh Die You’, they were shorter than me, so I had to look down.

It’s just rude of me to look up while talking to them, don’t you think?”

2. On being naughty in Malaysia:

“EAT CHEWING GUM!!!!!!!!”

3. Of school and suicides: 

“Actually, if I could be serious for a while (some people now stunned), I think it’s about the individual preference and choice. I choose not to take part in the rat race and so it was not stressful at all. This, plus the fact that I was not good at my subjects.

About suicide rates? Hahahahahhaahahah, that honour belongs to another country, not Singapore. Please research properly. See? How to not look down? 🙂 “

4. On the Malaysian hate: 

“I would answer this question with comedy, finesse and eloquence if only I knew what “UGAIZZ” MEANT!!”

*CILISOS takes full responsibility for butchering the words ‘you guys’ to ‘ugaiz’*

5. On Singapore’s super duper clean city:

“It takes not only the government but the people to make this happen. (Wait. Is this question serious or is it just me?) We as the citizens have a vested interest in keeping our country clean cos it benefits everyone.

Would you like your family members to help keep your home clean? Of course you would, and it’s the same with the country.”

6. On crazy Singaporean drivers in Malaysia: 

“So you are telling me that you saw these SG drivers acting like crazy and THEN you followed all of them to Singapore, stayed a few weeks here stalking and observing them so that you arrive at your conclusion, hence your question for me? Haha. Please don’t goreng!”

7. On mispronouncing stuff:

“Again, we do say “leh’ and we do say “lah”. I think you should fire your researcher… Or maybe your researcher is trying to get fired… Hmmmmm.”

8. On Malaysians taking their jobs: 

“No, it’s not, cos we get the jobs anyway… Oooo, score for Singapore.”

9. On talking behind our backs:

“We say, “I wonder if I can over and stand back to back.”

*Ed’s note: We tried contacting Gurmit to explain what he meant but he was unreachable. We’ll letchu know when he replies. In the meantime, can anyone guess the missing word?*

10. On the gomen: 

“Haha, why should I when I have nothing to insult them with?”

11. On their ‘toilet college‘:

“Yes we are. “The bog stops here”, as they say in America.”

12. On M’sia/S’pore separation:

“A bit hard to go shopping and eat and go toilet if attached to me. And how do I go dating with you attached to me? You will be the third wheel, no?

(And no, I didn’t read the question wrong, just being funny… I think.)”

– ——- –

Yeah… Confirm some of these questions annoyed Gurmit a bit, but it’s ok – Singaporeans irritate us all the time so considered fair leh lah. But to be honest, despite the constant jostling, we know that deep down we still have a bond that runs deeper than water.

They actually do have good things to say about us, and likewise with us for them. So although we fight quite a bit, we know we kinda love each other la in the end 🙂

But if you’d like to hear more MY vs SG bantering, don’t miss ‘Laugh Die You’! How often would you get to see Gurmit and Kumar battling it out with our homeboys Douglas and Rizal? ICYMI, here are the details again:

When: 14th May (this Thurs) & 15th May (this Fri); 8.00pm onwards

Where: HGH Convention Centre, KL

How much: RM308 (VIP), RM258 (Gold), RM158 (Silver), RM108 (Disabled)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?t=16&v=cDbH7MNbahE

Get your tickets here! (And hurry up cos it’s already Sunday!)