Hell-o again Cilisos readers,
Halloween is once again upon us and in what has become a CILISOS halloween tradition, we’ve come up with seven more halloween-themed movies based on true stories from Malaysian news. So put on a fresh pair of Mamypokos and run to mummy because these seven movies are guaranteed to send a chillisos down your spine…
[Disclaimer: The events depicted in the following movies are fictitious. Any similarity to any person living or dead is purely coincidental and not seditious. Really.]
Starring: Said Keruak, Mahathir Mohammad, Elsie Siti, Jaya Putera.
Plot: No one knows for sure where it came or what it wants, but those who claim that words will never hurt them will be left eating their words as Keruakzilla rises from beneath the murky depths of the Klang River! Believed by many to be a leftover of the original inhabitants who once roamed the country, years of exposure to ink from discarded newspapers has further mutated this creature, giving it the ability to feed off snide remarks and official press statements.
Accidentally awoken by the radioactive words of researcher Dr. Mahadir (played by veteran Mahathir Mohammad) during a speech, Keruakzilla is out for revenge, with the LRT, KLCC, and Putrajaya all under threat. Will he be able to stop the onslaught of destruction, or will Keruakzilla be Dr. Mahadir’s only legacy?
Starring: Censored, Censored, Redacted, Censored, Censored.
Plot: Some who have seen him claim he’s a clown, others a man in a suit; but the truth is that Pennywise Poundfoolish can appear in any form it needs to take to earn your trust…funds. Awoken once every election cycle, Pennywise – known only to its victims as “1T” – terrorizes the small Malaysian town of Kampung Bintang Baik, luring unsuspecting townspeople into its clutches with promises of candy and kickbacks. Once ensnared, 1T saps victims of their bank accounts and savings, leaving them empty husks of debt before going back into hibernation.
Drawn to stories of the unreported happenings in Kampung Bintang Baik, Investigative reporter Firdaus “Ammo” Wan decides to dig deeper into these claims, finding out soon enough that it isn’t because the stories were unreported by the media – but because 1T never let them….
3. Paralegal Activity
Starring: Anwar Ibrahim, Saiful Bukhari, Latheefa Koya, Tee Lam Tilam, Attur Ni
Plot: Once the rising star in the political world, Deesai accidentally slips down a dark, tight wormhole into a parallel universe where he is stuck in a neverending nightmare court case -Doomed to be released and rearrested over and over again for eternity.
Back in the real world it’s revealed that Deesai is a victim of an Illuminati conspiracy, held with other politicians against their will in a virtual environment; their fighting spirits harnessed to power a superweapon called Re:formation-1. Once fully powered, Re:formation 1 would exterminate all life on the planet, allowing the Illuminati to reshape the world in their vision.
While the world believes that Deesai has disappeared to escape criminal charges placed against him, his assistant suspects some foul play is involved and continues her search for him. A series of clues leads her to the secret facility where the politicians are held, but there’s a problem – disconnecting them would leave their minds stuck in the virtual courtroom forever. Her only hope is to connect herself into Deesai’s virtual world, relying on her legal training to win the case and free him…
4. Stutter Island
Starring: Zahid Hamidi, Yew Ann, Ora Tory, with a special appearance by President Najib
Plot: Zahid Homemidister spent his entire life growing up on a peaceful island paradise that hides a dark secret. The inhabitants are unable to understand each other and only live in fear of one thing – villagers that suddenly disappear without a trace at night. One day, Zahid experiences strange sensations of understanding of the verbal noises he makes as well as those around him. And that night, he disappears.
Zahid wakes up in a lab, soon finding out that the entire island is a long-term experiment… that he is an experiment. Every inhabitant on the island is genetically altered to not understand speech, in an attempt to find if not being able to speak would create a more peaceful society. But anomalies like Zahid happen once every so often and are quickly exterminated. An accident on the way to the extermination chamber gives Zahid an opportunity to escape, and he makes his way to the real world that he never knew existed.
Chased by a crack extermination team and not fully able to speak, Zahid stands in front of an entire auditorium of international delegates, slowly opening his mouth in an attempt to describe the horrors that happen on….. Stutter Island.
5. Catch Me If You Can
Starring: Leonardo di Caprio, Jho Low di Kantoi, Riza Aziz di Investigate
Plot: Some people have called money a curse, but they never knew how close they were to the literal truth. An ancient Sumerian curse manifests itself as the Doj-ā, a shapeshifting being that unrelentingly pursues its victims once they “mark” themselves by touching the Dinar that the Doj-ā resides in. But his victims have a running chance, since the Doj-ā only moves at a walking pace.
After robbing a bank, two men unwittingly became marked when they decide to steal the Dinar, long kept in an ornamental case. What ensues is a suspenseful game of cat and mouse as the two men use their ill-gotten agains to fly around the world, knowing that wherever they go, the Doj-ā is slowly but surely following the money trail.
6. Chong Wick 2
Starring: Lee Chong Wei, Lin Dan, Khairy Jamaluddin, Rose Mar
Plot: A secret Chinese government experiment gone wrong has released an army of clones powered by the flames of the Netherworld. Called the Shuttlers, their sole purpose is to shuttle you from life to the afterlife. And there is no return trip!
With armies falling at their feet, the fate of the world rests on Chong Wick, an ex-sportsman whose intense training brought him so close to the Netherworld that he became “marked” – neither fully human nor a denizen of the Netherworld. The flame also marked his racket – called The Racket – giving it the ability to literally smash the Shuttlers back to where they came. But there’s a problem. He’s retired.
Injured and disheartened after an encounter with a rival named Lindon, Chong Wick placed himself in forced retirement. But with a global threat underway, would he pick up The Racket again? And would his next encounter with Lindon be as a rival or ally? Humanity rests on Chong Wick’s shoulders, and it’s match point!
7. Eng-gytiville Horror
Starring: Lim Guan Eng, Apandi Ali, Bunga Low
Plot: A man named Rocket buys The Pinhorn, a large bungalow in Penang at a very competitive price, not realizing the building’s dark history. The Pinhorn was built on land that was sacred to the Dacing, an extinct tribe with warrior blood – and they’re not going to give up their property so easily!
Harassed by day and night by angry Dacing spirits, Rocket tries his best to stand his ground; not realizing that he himself is slowly being corrupted by the evil energies in the home. The situation becomes even more complicated when an exorcist named Macc arrives. Rocket welcomes Macc into the home, not realizing that Macc doesn’t only want to rid the house of corruption, but also to assess if Rocket is corrupted beyond salvation as well.
Just when you thought it was safe to go back to the news….\
And as always, Salam Satu MalaysiahahahahaAHahahahaHaAHAHahaaahahaHAAHaahahhahahahaAHahaAHaHAAHhahaHah